It’s Time For Maxine

Sometimes I think Maxine should run for president.  She was right on with this one!

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida …

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation. + Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. + Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies. + Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border. Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Think about this one:

1. Cows

2..The Constitution

3. The Ten Commandments  

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E    C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

T H E   1 0    C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians…It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone– YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up !

Meet Marvin, men’s answer to Maxine!!!

A friend sent this to me, although I don not agree with Marvin it is still funny at the end…  LOL

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….’

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How do you fix a woman’s watch?

You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.

It’s called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men

Until they can walk down the street with a bald head

And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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AND MAXINE SAYS…………’MARVIN’…

Maxine just had to have the last word.

Mudslide Destroys Home

Mudslide Wipes Out German House

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Funny Picture~Might be offensive…..LOL

26 Ridiculously Questionable T-Shirts [Pics] from i-am-bored.com

Originally posted here.

Some funny pictures that I find interesting.

The New Homeland Security Color Chart

Purity Ring Comic ~ Hillarious

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1565#comic