church bulletin mishaps… LOL

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
————————————————————-
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
————————————————————-
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
————————— ———————————
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid
of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
————————————————————–
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has
been canceled due to a conflict.
————————————————————–
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
————————————————————–
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
————————————————————–
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I Will Not Pass This Way Again’,
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
————————————————————–
For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
————————————————————–
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
————————————————————–
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the
choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy’.
————————————————————–
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th
in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
————————————————————–
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
‘What Is Hell?’  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
————————————————————–
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some
older ones.
————————————————————–
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
————————————————————–
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person you want emembered.
————————————————————–
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and gracious hostility.
————————————————————–
Potluck upper Sunday at 5:00 PM -
Prayer and medication to follow.
————————————————————–
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
————————————————————–
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
————————————————————–
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
————————————————————–
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday.
————————————————————–
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
————————————————————–
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in
the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
————————————————————–
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church.  Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
—————————————————————
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’

INAUGURAL ADDRESS OF BARACK OBAMA

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

Read the rest here—> http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/obama/chi-obama-speech-090120,0,1085546.story

And the world breathes a large collective sigh of relief

8 Years Of Bush in 8 Minutes! ~Olbermann

The Obama Inauguration: Lego-Style

The Obama Inauguration: Lego-Style
Obama fever has officially hit Legoland. The Carlsbad, CA, park has modified its U.S. Capitol model to illustrate the historic Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama. The display opens to the public tomorrow, Jan. 16, and will stay on through Memorial Day. Photos by Christopher Victorio.

See the reset of the photos.. http://sfweekly.com/slideshow/view/222857/1

Bush’s Legacy: He Survived The Curse!

The curse also known as the Curse of Tippecanoe, the Zero-Year Curse and the 20-Year Curse refers to the fact that since 1840, every president elected in a year ending in a zero has died, been killed, or been shot while in office.

read more | digg story

The Fattest Cities in America

25 towns that live life in the fast (food) lane

read more | digg story

this picture is worth a 1000 words..

Awww, the poor thing has to go. I guess some people will be sad, but I will not. bye bye

Today is a good day to type…with a Klingon keyboard

This is a cool invention. I wonder if I had one of these, maybe i could really confuse people at meetings… LOL

Originally posted here—> http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2009/01/13/today-is-a-good-day.html

The 80th Birthday of Dr. King and the Inauguration of Obama as President

January 15th, 2009 will mark what would have been the 80th birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. On January 19th we commemorate Dr. King’s birthday as a national holiday. The following day, “January 20th, a country that, within living memory, denied some black citizens the right to vote will inaugurate its first black president. A man with a funny name and African blood will stand where 43 white men have stood before him and take the oath of office.”

August 28th, 2008 in Denver, Colorado, Senator Obama accepted the Democratic Party’s nomination as its candidate for president of the United States. His acceptance speech was 40 years to the day of Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC. At the time I thought it would have been appropriate for Senator Obama, in his speech to the Democratic Party National Convention, to specifically acknowledge the historic coincidence of his nomination on the 40th Anniversary of Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream.”

Presumably, Senator Obama, his advisers and speech writers concluded that a passing reference to “a preacher from Georgia” 40 years ago in the acceptance speech was sufficient acknowledgment of the coincidence of both his and Dr. King’s historic address to the “March On Washington” on the same date, August 28th, 1963.

Respectfully, I’d suggest that was a mistake.

Read More Here

Your request is being processed…

Clarence B. Jones

Scholar in Residence, Martin Luther King, Jr. Institute at Stanford University

Posted January 12, 2009 | 12:47 PM (EST)

Cadillac One: The Car that Thinks it’s a Tank [Infographic]

A breakdown of the Cadillac One and it’s many hidden surprises.

read more | digg story

TEN THINGS GOD WON’T ASK ON JUDGEMENT DAY

1. God won‘t ask what kind of car you drove. He‘ll ask how many people you drove who didn‘t have transportation.

2. God won‘t ask the square footage of your house. He‘ll ask how many people you welcomed into your house.

3. God won‘t ask about the clothes you had in your closet. He‘ll ask how many you helped clothe.

4. God won‘t ask what your highest salary was. He‘ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5. God won‘t ask what your job title was. He‘ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6. God won‘t ask how many friends you had. He‘ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7. God won‘t ask in what neighborhood you lived. He‘ll ask how you treated your neighbor.

8. God won‘t ask about the color of your skin. He‘ll ask about the content of your character.

9. God won‘t ask why it took you so long to seek Salva-tion. He‘ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10. God won‘t have to ask how many people you told this to. He already knows your decision.

Have you ever had one of those blah days?

Well let me start off by saying that I have been nursing a pulled back / pinched nerve for a little over a week and I feel totally like the cute dogs in the pictures below..

LG Watch Phone- I want one…

I have always wanted a watch phone… although they probably will be literally an arm & leg…lol

Drunk Maryland State Trooper Pulls People Over in Drive-thru

Police say off-duty state trooper Bruce Wrzosek, 22, pulled up to a Towson drive-thru and ordered up trouble.

Baltimore County Police say they were called to Taco Bell by employees, who said they were being disturbed by a drunken trooper turning on his siren and trying to pull people over in the drive-thru lane.

Read more @ WJZ.com